The Worst Film I've Ever McSeen

Michael Keaton in The Founder outside McDonald's
Actual photo of me once I'd finally finished the film

I'm talking worse than Cars (don't try to tell me it's a Disney classic because it's not), Frozen (ditto) and Dirty Grandpa. The Founder was so horrendously bad that I felt compelled to enumerate all the ways in which this film made me cringe so viciously that I'm still trying to uncurl my toes. However, if you love self-promotional capitalist biopics made by a sycophantic corporations then you might think this list is a bit of a flop:

1. Hollywood Propaganda

Mr Bean Shock Horror Drama Gif

Oh yeah - I'm starting off with the P word. There's no way Hollywood were going to produce a feature length film about another US institution that made it out to be anything but honest, hard-working and with good intentions. I especially loved that bit when the two McDonald brothers were telling their tale as a sort of well-rehearsed double act, complete with flashbacks to create nostalgia. Mmmm I love the taste of a cliché with my chicken selects.

2. Boring

Fight Club Bored Gif

As much as we all need a McFlurry when we're hungover, watching how the sausage is made, branded and expanded is nowhere near as delicious. If anyone wasn't aware that McDonald's' food is the culinary equivalent of flat-pack furniture then frankly I don't even know how you think they can afford to sell mayo chicken burgers for 99p.

3. Sooooo American Dream Circa 1926

Sorry but I just COULD NOT hack the desperately patriotic rhetoric that was SO SUBTLY slipped into the script. Comparing the 'Golden Arches' to the other great pillars of US society (the church and the legal system) was TOO MUCH for me. DO THE CAPS MAKE YOU SEE THIS? Just in case you weren't already convinced that the brains behind McDonald's were stand up guys, you are gently reminded that they are not only God-fearing men and admirably patriotic but also keen capitalists with a love of money, success, the Republican party and hamburgers. I could insert a topical Trump's America observation here, but I don't think I will.

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